


Viva La Vida

by jaybirdwrites



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst to Fluff, Angst with a fluffy ending, F/M, Song fic, flangst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-08-23 16:51:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16622735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaybirdwrites/pseuds/jaybirdwrites
Summary: A Castiel x Reader fic based on the song Viva La Vida by Coldplay.





	Viva La Vida

I watched as my brothers and sisters plummeted from the dark, roiling clouds. Their wings burning away, feathers tipped with flame fluttering past their outstretched fingers as they carved blazing trails through the darkness. It resembled nothing less than the stars themselves raining to the ground.

This was my doing. My fault.

I stood, motionless, surrounded by the dark woods, unable to tear my gaze away.

 

**_I used to rule the world_ **

**_Seas would rise when I gave the word_ **

 

I had done it again. Despite everything, I could never seem to learn my lesson. In my arrogance, believing myself to be their salvation, I once more committed an unforgivable sin. A cosmic one, damning my brothers and sisters to a life stranded on Earth, never again able to return home. To heaven.

I shivered. An altogether new sensation. I was… cold? I drew in a shaky breath. In my entire existence, I had never felt so fragile. So utterly  _powerless_. While the other angels retained their grace, Metatron had ripped mine from my body. The freshly healed cut across my throat retained a dull sting.  I was human now. It was only just beginning to dawn on me what this really meant.

Once, I had commanded the legions of heaven. I had been God.

 

**_I used to roll the dice_ **

**_Feel the fear in my enemy’s eyes_ **

 

Now, I would feel cold, and hunger, and pain. I would be chained to the ground, forced to travel at an agonizingly slow pace.  I would suffer through a frail, human life. My body would deteriorate, and then I would die. Not that I would be able to find peace in death.   

 

_**Now in the morning, I sleep alone** _

_**Sweep the streets I used to own** _

 

Even so, no amount of punishment would ever be enough to atone for what I had done.   

Emotions coursed through my body, stronger than I had ever felt them before. My time on Earth with the Winchesters had taught me a great deal about emotion, but as an angel I had never truly been capable of feeling more than a vague echo of what welled up inside me now.

The most prominent was self-loathing. I wished for all of the fury of heaven and hell to be unleashed upon my being. Next was a burning a hatred for Metatron. That traitor had conned me into enabling his scheme to lock the doors of heaven, and stole my grace as the final catalyst for the spell.  

 

**_One minute I held the key_ **

**_Next the walls were closed on me_ **

**_And I discovered that my castles stand_ **

**_Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand_ **

 

The sky grew dark again. Angels now roamed the Earth, fresh burns seared onto their backs. Of course they would blame me for the fall, as they should. They would be searching for me, eager to punish the one who had conspired with Metatron to throw them out. I sank into the dirt on my knees, feeling the dampness of the earth seep into my clothing.

 

_**Revolutionaries wait** _

_**For my head on a silver plate** _

 

I briefly considered giving myself up to them. After all, punishment for my sins was exactly what I wanted. But some deep-seated need to make it right stopped me from reaching out in prayer. I would not make my final confession yet. If I could fix my mistake, perhaps my family might still forgive me.

Until then, I would be hunted.

This meant staying as far away from those I cared about as possible. All I could do was hope that the Winchesters had succeeded in closing the gates of Hell. And if they hadn’t, I wouldn’t be of any use to them without my powers. I knew that, even if I somehow managed to find the Winchesters again, they would be unlikely to forgive me for what I had done.

 

_**For some reason I can’t explain** _

_**I know Saint Peter won’t call my name** _

 

If God was watching, I doubted that even he would forgive me.  

—

“Cas?”

I blink, my focus returning to the present. Y/N is seated across the table from me, stacks of lore splayed out before her. Her eyes are filled with a gentle concern when they capture mine.

“Yes?” I tilt my head questioningly.

“Where did you go just now?”

I frown. Y/N always seems to have a way of sensing when my thoughts drift into troubled waters. In my hesitation to respond, she finds her answer. She smiles gently and rises from her chair.

“Maybe it’s time we call it a night, hm? Sam and Dean already gave up and went to bed half an hour ago.” As she walks by, her fingers find the material of my sleeve and she gives it a slight tug as an indication that I should follow.

Silently, I rise and shuffle down the hall behind her, allowing her to lead the way to my bedroom. Her hand slides down my arm and her fingers slip in between mine as she pulls me along. Her hand is warm and small compared to mine.

The door to my room closes softly behind us and, after removing most of our clothing, we crawl into bed. I lie still, allowing my vision to adjust to the darkness. The sheets rustle and I feel Y/N slide over towards me and snuggle into my side.

The warmth of her body against mine is still a strange feeling. This kind of physical intimacy is still quite new to me. Hesitantly, I wrap an arm around her shoulder, and she lays her head against my chest, directly over my heartbeat.

“You’ve been through so much, Castiel.” Her voice drifts quietly through the air, “I can’t imagine the kinds of things you’ve seen. But it shows in your eyes sometimes, and I know. I know that you’re in pain.” She raises herself slightly so that she can look down into my eyes. Her hair tickles my chest and she raises a hand to my face to brush her thumb over my cheekbone. “You’re safe now, Castiel. You don’t need to hurt anymore. I’m here. And I love you so much.”

She leans down and presses her lips against mine. They are soft and warm. I allow my eyes to fall shut, and my thoughts drift away like an untethered helium balloon as I lose myself in the feeling of the kiss. I remember to use my hands, holding her close with one while the other slides up into her hair. I want her to know that I return her affection.

“And I love you, Y/N.”

Eventually she breaks away, returning contentedly to her spot on my chest. She yawns widely before her breathing slowly begins to deepen, carrying her off into sleep.

I lie awake a little while longer, attempting to memorize the feeling of her body against mine. I cannot remember the last time I have ever felt so peaceful, if there even was one.

After all of the things I have done, perhaps I am somehow forgiven.

I would suffer it all again if it meant I could stay here in this moment forever.

 

**_Oh, who would ever want to be king?_ **


End file.
